flock of poems; from May 2014

I
you never know when a storm of poetry might hit you
after 20 years
after too busy to brush my teeth
baby to nurse, cab to wake up for
in the dark
early morning ride to work
pumping milk behind the walk in cooler
eat sweet-cream butter and fresh squeezed orange juice
serve men from tyson chicken and
haliburton and the not so famous rich
take home flowers they leave,
maybe not even really seen.
so many flowers I let you tear the roses apart
on our black and white kitchen floor
while I cook dinner
and now all these years later
I can taste the moment
every glorious rich color
the feel of the floor under my feet,
the joy of seeing your beauty ringed in mosaic of petals

Now, not too busy to morn that no one else was there
to catch their breath with me
now not to busy to celebrate
to dance with it again on paper and share it.

II
Now I am not going to write advice
anymore
I am only going to fling poetry
like a child having a temper-tantrum
I am going to stop at the busy entrance of whole foods
and do nothing
just sit down on the floor and make everyone step over me.
or at least go around me
glancing back, they might
wonder
for a moment.
I am going to cry in the open
to scream and shout
beauty, love, us, everything!
I will kiss clichés and eat mixed metaphors
I will roll in corny, blacken in a tooth,
write “nigger”
stab myself with fear
God dam mother fucking shit.
I am alive, alive, alive.
I am no longer begging
or hopping
asking or telling.
I am wailing in pain
I am singing for joy,
and love.
and I am not scared of you
or pain
or rotting
under the ground.

III
first it was a trickle of poems
fresh,
quenching where the water had not run in years.
soon it was a storm of poems
a wild rush
waking me up in the night
banging on the windows

then it was a flock
swooping gracefully gathering around, bearing gifts
awe inspiring with intricate feathers and glowing wings.

then it was a swarm of poems
hitting me in the face
pestering me
if I opened my mouth they got stuck in my teeth and flew down my throat

and then almost as suddenly as they arrived
they floated up
past the yellow willow
into the sky
and landed on the great clouds
they told me,
and my eyes and my heart
and my tongue
“we are here,

we will always be here”

exhale

As the dust was settling
And my head was turning
my body inhaled you
And a million truths exploded in my blood.
A thousand poems filled my chest.
Everything stopped 
And everything moved.
I wanted to scream in rage that I never found you until now.
I wanted to cry in joy that everything is perfect
Everything hurts
Everything floats.
And for one breath I could only inhale.
Could only inhale
Until 
The ocean rolled over me black and terrible, and bright and wonderful. 
and I rolled and melted and then
I could only exhale
I could only exhale

Into
You

angle dying

You. Wondering through
this big world
crawling through the channels
Ducking between the threads

Roll over 
and slip your tongue on mine
Breathe in my breath
And rest
all the endless patterns will swirl over our heads
And I will kiss your every color spectrum shade
Light on your body
With my finger tips
Dash to shush your unneeded words with my lips
Wanting only to kiss you again
So slowly an angle could die in slow motion
Beside us
Drifting, falling
And without knowing
My hand would float up and meet her
And lower 
her spirit to the ground
Because 
every dance has its reason.

Exploding Species

We are made
from exploding stars
but maybe now it is our time
to fly apart
everything that attracts
repels.
Now is our time to explode
collapsing into ourselves, super nova red dwarf,
burning open our chests
flinging our hopes and revenge and music
bits of our flesh and dreams into the sky
bricks sailing through molecules of air
and our father sun
can relate, knows how it feels
our flood of pain and poems flowing like lava through the streets
down into the riverbeds
across the deserts

dreams are hard to kill

Dreams are hard kill

they are not brittle 

they bend when you hit them 

they melt away when you try to chop them

evaporate in the sunlight

and then form again 

like clouds in the sky 

dancing over your head 

teasing you because you are powerless

they can take your breath away 

hit you with force winds

and you can’t fight back.

Turn your head away the wind is still there.

hide inside, 

they can rip the siding off your house.  

Yew Berries

I

Today
my life is filled with love
with beauty
every cell in my body smiles
with the sun and the answered prayers

and the reply is to write poems of love
to let my heart sing
to let my arms dance
to let the music fill me
the beauty is so huge
it can not sit still in my chest
and all the people i have ever loved
who are not here
who are gone, who got away
are here
dancing in the sunlight with me
dancing to the music with me

And for all the souls
in pain
in mourning and shock
I dance
for you too
I will rejoice in this body, in this moment
until my last breath
in honor of you.

I eat
the yew berries off the tree
glowing jewel red
tasting the sweet flesh
spitting out the poisonous seeds
letting them fly from my mouth

II

Infected by this terminal life
the wind blows
the candles out
the lightning strikes
and sets new fires
and you fall away
fall off the edge
and others land
fill
grow
and stub their toes
and then grow more
then fall away
and we mourn and scream
and the storm rages over us
rips us back into
the earth dark earth
the heart of the volcano
and then the sun shines again
and we spread our wings to dry
we dance in the air
flying like golden leaves
drifting out of control
towards the ground.