Again the cat calls to say he has brought a gift
while I lay in bed
thinking about the son I don't live with right now
the child I no longer cook dinner for each night
he is 12
13 in one month
Again no poem
for the men I love
the choices made and unmade
again I don't understand
Love
no words for the sadness I can't even feel
again I think about
turn over in my mind
the dire warnings about our climate
all the attempts at change
the huge ship of our humanity unable to stop sliding in the direction....
I hear the whir of the city, like the ocean in the distance
always louder and clearer on a cloudy night
again I think about my sons and their future
again I imagine the last time I will see them
how we all might end
again I get out of bed
The cat has brought a mouse
I pet him to tell him it is good
and step by to go to the bathroom
thinking I will get a piece of paper to pick it up with in a moment.
I hear him start to crunch on the mouse
I think perhaps its skull
In the time it takes me
he has finished
it is gone
I turn on the light to see
to clean the floor
but there is no sign of it
like it never was
No mouse
No body or blood on the floor
just purring cat
gleaming white chest
asking to be pet
I stand up and I pick up my cell phone
by habit
again
It has a warning on it
of flash floods
again I put it down
and go to write a poem in the dark
on my glowing computer screen
and try to pay attention
to what brings the tears
