wild tame thing

I remember as a child they said she was a "wild girl"
drank too much, ran with the boys
didn't listen to her mother.
30 years later she told me
she told me that when she was a teenager 
she would go into the woods and take off her cloths and lay on the forest floor
how it felt so right
and yet she told no one
for shame of its wrongness

We are tamed
living in our beautiful cage
our stimulating environment,
yesterday, 9 year old boy
we go, discovery world
look at other animals in cages and pools
touch the water they swim in
pull levers and switches

Today, same boy, breaking bubbles in the ice
finally lays
his whole body
down
on the smooth frozen water
stretching out
feeling the fabric of his coat as it slides
on the strangely soft hardness
he lets his body float on its surface
laying
rolling
over to look at the branches of trees
and sky above him
and as I walk to him
I cry
to see him so at home
laying on his mother
nothing but rightness

crazy graden

Celebration
I can eat with you
in my mind
poems that paint rainbows of wonderful nonsense.
all the dancing on clouds we could do.
all the running with hands full of popcorn
cheeks full of love
smiles falling like rain
you on a mattress of leaves
falling into the center of the earth
caramelized stars swirling around our heads
chew on my hair
flick flies into space
skate off the edge of the earth
with me
holding hands
just bath me in whats beautiful
feed me ginger syrup and tangerines
tell me you love me and how beautiful my eyes are.
touch me until I see the colors of
geranium petals sparkling in the sunlight
until I open my mouth and let flower petals spill all over your bed.
let paper foxes run over my perfect body
rivers run under my body
and carry me away to the most amazing world
distant lands
covered with magical beads
that I gather and fill my mouth with again
until I smile at you
and they all spill out
falling to the ground and springing into the craziest most beautiful garden
that crawls up our bodies
its too late to make sense
my heart has floated to high
my throat is too full
I danced to many dances
opened my heart too wide
spread my legs to easily
dived into too many garbage dumpsters
rubbed too raw
and ate more sugar than I needed
and its ok, no one can read my hand writing anyway
no one will know the secret of everything
and nothing
that I tried
to bite from your lips.

Love letter to my body

Love letter to my body
The only one for me
given to me by a million mothers and grandmothers
fathers and grandfathers
by millenniums of creatures
surviving
working together
eating, sharing, pooping, taking
creating
and then me
the current point of the arrow
flying through space, eating sun light
sweating and crying sea water
water flowing through me
everyday
dreaming dying back up into the sky every night
pressing my heart into others
pushing my legs off the ground
thighs!
just those alone
how I love you legs
you carry me each day
helped me carry my babies
bring groceries up three flights of stairs
never asking for more than you need
devoted
workers
and yet you love to play
dance
be touched
race, spring
capture the flag, jump over logs, leaves flying, twigs snapping
dancing on metal blades on ice
so fine and large and strong
and hands!  hands
touch feather light on skin, explore curves, lips, with wonder,
details, painting dots, writing poems
partner to my eyes
oh beautiful eyes
that see all the delicious colors
all the people I love

and the darkness of vast space

through the block holes in the center of their eyes

the sun radiating from their smiles and then feel the warmth of

it in my own heart

oh beautiful body
i love you more than any words can say
and I mourn
that I will leave you one day
that every precious cell
will sperate
leave each other
melt back into the soil
float back up into the sky
forgetting the touch
of holding my sweet babies
oh sweet home body
so glad I was given you
you were given me.  your magic combination
you
me
my bit of sea water star dust
miracle muscle power vibration shaking tearing open rejoicing
never forgetting
and yet so forgettable
like my great great grandmother
who I know nothing about
not even her name
and yet I owe her my life

So we can weep together

Lets go outside

And dig a grave, in the mud and ice

To bury all the lost smiles in

As the cold numbs our fingers

and the clay sticks under our nails

Lets look into each other’s eyes and cry.

Paint my cheek with the mud on your hands

Press your broken heart into my chest

Lets preform an operation

With razor blade or scalpel knife

We will cut each others chests open

With precision

Crake our ribs

Carefully peal back the skin and flesh

I will reaching my bare hand deep inside you

pushing

through,

wrapping my palm

around the hard pit of pain

I will grab it, tug

wrenching it out of your body

feel the ripping myself

we will scream as it comes out

you will look at me with surprise

like one shot by a bullet

how could you?

You really did?

I will hold it over my head

soft flesh still hanging

and scream it up to the sky

Then bringing it down to my heart I will cradle it.

Wash it with my tears

Now you reach into my chest and grab mine out too

And hold it

Like a golden tender thing

Treasure

Then look up at my eyes again

Surprised, we did it

And we are safe

reading poems by the dead

Now
reading poems by the dead
the land they have gone to
no longer distant and foreign
but maybe an airplane or car ride away
or even just down the street
around the corner
over the hill.
Now the dead are under my feet
all around me
inside my head
folded into the flesh our hearts.
The dead are In another reality,
just inches away
where we will all be together again.

our wings unfurl

We are wild 

domesticated animals

today I send out a wish

that we each let our lights shine

our wings unfurl

our hearts open

forget the rules that got us here

ask, beg, yell for what you need

give, throw, plaster the world with 

your love

give every last drop of blood

give every last drop of blood
reveal every smile

release every tear

let your shrieks of rebellion echo across the hills

scale, climb the walls of houses like squirrels

dance like their tails 

floating behind

leap into beauty

let the night of forgetting 

lay behind on your unmade bed

forgotten

darknesses garden

Mother darkness
and her nothingness
feeds no poem.
she lets go of all love.
she drops you over and over
whether you grasp or cling or release

She shatters
or rots
every precious thing.

And even if you offer yourself, chest open, arms flung wide
facing it all.
Surrendering. accepting.
she simply takes from others as well.

she does not care if we jump or fall
fight or let go

meaninglessness, violence, weapons of war, revenge,
her tools

And while we are alive and in love
we think pain is hers as well
but really
it is just one
of the pretty flowers of her garden
that we do not understand.