For my stoic dreamer

Sometimes I'm not sure if we are just having a little walk
a journey through the woods
or a trek to the end of the lands.

Will I some day be plain to you?
simple
like
yes there life bread chewing
eating, shitting
smiling, dying
everything nothing
ok forgotten and remembered?

Sometimes
I wonder if we will make it to 
the day I both look forward to
and fear.
The day
when our love will be like the earth
the soil.
Unexciting
ever present
steady
there.
Ready to accept
gentle showers
and hard rains
the droughts
the sunshine
the seeds
the dropped rotten fruit
and the shells of dead bodies.
After all our dreams have either come to fruition,
planted new growth
or fallen like brown leaves to decay on the bottom of a lake.
Ready to withstand the cold stark long winters
to celebrate the glorious rebirth of spring
and the full bountiful lush sensual summer
open to the beautiful melancholy turn of fall.
The day I will be with you
like nothing
like your own eyes
wormed into your heart
your chest
like a parasite
living in your flesh
eating you
and feeding you
forgotten
taken for granted
dusted in your shirt
smudged on your face
flowing through your veins
The day you will feed me
like you feed yourself.

I have been with my cat when she died,
I have listened to stories of loved ones dying
and I wonder if after years of feeling your spirit soar when we make love
I will finely be there with you and feel your spirit float out of your body one last time
or if you will be with me when mine leaves
or if when that happens
it will have been years
since we lay together
since we looked in each others eyes
and we will just be deep fond memories to each other.
Or if when we die 
our souls will meet
again
up somewhere in the sky
in the stars
a reunion.

I have danced already with you
on your skin, and felt
like I was a star
floating
knowing
truth.
knowing I love you with all my heart
I am everything and nothing
I am lost
and it is all so right
so exciting
and dull
so long
and short
and
unknown

but for now
I feel
you are with me
beside me
and I am grateful