thankful for rice

As thankful as I am
for rice
and the sliding of children's feet in socks on wood floors
for feeling the sun in warm lips.
That the lies you told me,
that we told ourselves
can be forgiven.
As thankful as I am
that today
the body on the stretcher
was not my loves
that you are all right
that blood is flowing to each cell of you skin
and that a cut with a knife
would cause you pain
As sad as I am that your mind
sent you to hell
for a life time
until your children cringe to hear your voice.
For the hair
of a dead woman
still sitting in your drawer.
As bitter sweet as it is now
to see your eyes
close to tears
as you realize there is nothing
but your body
this life
and the pain
and the longing to be seen and held
like the child
you were so many years ago.